Saturday, December 31, 2011

Turning Twenty Five

In between good and great
A chance to taste
But not to hold
In between young and old
When the world unfolds
While you wait on hold
A momentary glance
An inside view at chance
A realization, or two or three
That you don't know a damn thing!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Tough


"oh honey, you're tough"
as though I scraped my knee
as though this isn't rough
as though there is nothing I need


she thinks I'm so strong
I can't tell if she's listening
a scream for help,
I just want my mom.

her voice is flat
so I hold back tears
my voice still cracks
though it's been years

since she left
cold, empty replies
over a distant line
are constant reminders

that still make me cry.





Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Everything Will Be



I stared at a sparkling wonderland in the yard and painfully tried to figure out if the glitter would follow me. Please let this follow me. I was overwhelmed by the cleansing beauty and cold air, and then a heavy sadness. Would it be like this there? Wherever it is I go?
I gazed across the snow covered yard at the back door to what has been my home and questioned how I'd survive this - I watched the vision of the place I have loved so much - disappear before my eyes. It melted away like a mirage the snow created. I glanced at the two remaining pieces of firewood by the back door and felt as though I was struck by them. Ha, good thing I didn't buy more. For a fire that has gone out. Logically, I know it will snow, and even sparkle; I know the mountains are not moving, it is just meI know that my friendships remain the same; I know that I am as close to beauty as I am willing to recognize at any point. But right now, I know that this hurts. I know that I need to feel the loss and the emptiness, so that I may open the space for the fulfillment that will come. 


Okay?

At the end of this very long day
I hear there's a new beginning
I hear that it will all be okay 
Yes, everything

And...

I know slates are wiped clean to start over
I know fire burns to encourage growth
I know that things are worse before better
I know that the sky is darkest before dawn

But...

At the end of this very long day
Though reminded that I'm strong
Before I know it'll be okay,
I need time for this one sad song.