I stared at a sparkling wonderland in the yard and painfully tried to figure out if the glitter would follow me. Please let this follow me. I was overwhelmed by the cleansing beauty and cold air, and then a heavy sadness. Would it be like this there? Wherever it is I go?
I gazed across the snow covered yard at the back door to what has been my home and questioned how I'd survive this - I watched the vision of the place I have loved so much - disappear before my eyes. It melted away like a mirage the snow created. I glanced at the two remaining pieces of firewood by the back door and felt as though I was struck by them. Ha, good thing I didn't buy more. For a fire that has gone out. Logically, I know it will snow, and even sparkle; I know the mountains are not moving, it is just me; I know that my friendships remain the same; I know that I am as close to beauty as I am willing to recognize at any point. But right now, I know that this hurts. I know that I need to feel the loss and the emptiness, so that I may open the space for the fulfillment that will come.