Thursday, June 16, 2011

Love and Appreciation for Aunt Norma

To my beautiful Aunt Norma
It is funny (in the way that you don't laugh, but scratch your furrowed brow instead): 
Death is one of few inevitables we experience, yet never does it get easier when a loved one leaves us. So I can't help but feel the sting behind my eyes and the sinking of my stomach as I say good-bye. She just posted on my Facebook how well she was doing - battling cancer for the third time! She wanted to know how Kaden and I are. And because I believe we are invincible sometimes; Because I forget how quickly life passes by, I responded to the comment with a convenient post on her wall. It took me a maybe a minute to tap on my keyboard with my thoughts and love for her, how great Kaden is. Another silly yet inevitable thing: I can't help but wish I had picked up the phone instead. I can't help but wish I knew that my "I love you" went straight into her ear, so I could be eased that she knew it - and how much I appreciate her presence in my early life. How grateful I am to have experienced the glow she has always emitted so beautifully. Whether it be years or a day of space from her, the warmth she wrapped around you returned within seconds of being near her. She held a key that unlocked closed doors to let in comfort and laughter. So instead of wishing I had called, or pointlessly hoping for one more moment to hug her and let her feel my appreciation, I am grateful in this moment. Grateful and inspired. Inspired to love as openly as she did, inspired to show Kaden the same love she showed her boys and her family. Inspired to pick up my phone. 

I can't help but feel the sting behind my eyes
And the sinking of my stomach as I say goodbye
And because I believe we are invincible sometimes, 
Because I forget how fleetingly life passes by, 
I can't help but wish I had made the call
So that I could have said it all
How glad I am that she was there
To make it seem like life was fair
With people like her to make you forget
That every battle is completely worth it.

*Thank you, Uncle Bryan, for the photo.


John W. May said...

I’m so sorry for you loss, Kendra. This post is a wonderful tribute that I know your aunt would be proud of. Very touching. (Is the poem below, FAN, about her as well?)

Kendra Lise said...

Thank you, John. She was such a great lady. The poem "Fan" was actually written for my mother regarding the tear that her alcoholism has caused. Needless to say, it's been a tough stretch. Thanks to poetry, my sanity is in tact.

Paul said...

Great post Kendra...miss you and Kaden.